May signals beginnings and endings. I graduated three times (over seven years) in May and I also made big decisions twice about where my life would go next (San Diego and New York City). While college was a given, I chose grad school. I chose the responsibility, the move and the debt too. But with both college and grad school I remember having the same feelings. I was nervous, maybe a little scared and excited. These feelings signaled the beginning of something new that ended up putting me in places where I learned more about myself than anywhere I had already been.

With high school grads making decisions about their first step after high school, the question “why go away to school?” has come up a few times. I could tell them about the times I laughed, cried, and did things my mom will never understand, but I’m not. They’ll experience it themselves, in their own way and I’ll keep my answer short: You’ll never know until you try. I tried and look where it got me: Just a coconut girl in a high fashioned world.

I’m back under the coconuts but who says that’s the only place I can be. Time to feel nervous, maybe a little scared and excited again.

This time last year I felt like winter was never going to end. I was tired of walking through street corner slush and dodging ice patches (and falling from them too). Last winter I spent more time preparing to go outside than it was actually worth it. There were constant wet spots subway floors from wet snowy shoes and abandoned hats and gloves were dropped here and there. My hands were chapped like no other winter experience I ever had and my nose was like Rudolph’s just because. Weeks went by and all I saw was white, then brown, and then sometimes, yellow. Smells ranged from fresh to horrendous. I did make my first snow angel though and that was pretty worth it. The past two nights have fallen into the low 60’s and while that’s cold for here, it is nothing for over there. 

I knew nothing was the same when I went from not knowing any buildings, to pointing out a lot of buildings. I won’t ever know them all, but I know enough. From 100 floors above the world at One World Trade, everything is different. Perspective is everything.

The moments and the memories. The people and the places. No one knows what will happen next, but that’s what is best.

5AM in New York and it’s not just any day but it’s my birthday. I’m listening to Lil’ Wayne, Drake, and Demi Lovato (I know, what a combo) and working per usual. But, for whatever reason, I thought about someone–my Dad.

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Right now, this is as messy as it gets. The weeks have been flying and the days are disappearing. My desk is a cluttered with everything going on right now and snacks to get me through it.

Brunching on a Wednesday because, why not.

The struggle to get here seems to be the same struggle to get out. While coming to a city of unknowns is thrilling, exciting, frightening, and eye opening, so is leaving one. The thrill of going someplace new is filled with a thrill of leaving a place that has become so normal. The excitement of discovering new parts of a city is now going to be the excitement to returning to what I have known my whole life. A frightened exterior is replaced with a frightened interior, and the eyes that were open to see for the first time may be seeing things for the last.

Leaving brings renewed energy to the past, present, and future. You’ll come back with a greater appreciation for what you left behind and for the things found on the adventure you took. Welcome the struggle and endure the pain. All these thoughts I’ve learned are true and maybe the start of a migration pattern too.

History is being rewritten and we are living to see it happen. The big concrete jungle of New York City was a lot more c-o-l-o-r-f-u-l this weekend and this is just a glimpse of what is yet to come.

Third grader keeping it real on this Monday with some pencil motivation. The mind of a child is fearless. At least that’s what I have learned. Being able to spend everyday with one has sent me daily reminders about what it means to live, take risks, and love.

Ping isn’t concerned about what anyone else thinks of him. He will put temporary tattoos all over his arms, wear an outfit that doesn’t match, and burst out in song at any street corner. He will do all these things with extreme confidence. He takes the risks that many adults continue to hold back from in fear of what someone else might think. Ping also loves. While love right now might only be for video games, cartoons, and his iPod, he is passionate about all these things. Ping is an open book with no walls to hide behind.  He works hard to get what he wants and does it with all his heart. When he wants something I see him try his best. Disappointment also comes across his face if he misses his goals. This mini-person has shown me what it really means to be true to yourself.

So it was fitting when I saw these words Sharpie’d onto Ping’s pencil.  He’s only nine but he’s already figured out how to give himself what he needs to motivate himself.  I know he knows what “BEASTMODE” means better than any adult I know because I see it, everyday and it never gets old.

Don’t be good, be great.

There’s nothing that starts a “welcome home” better than walking on to an airplane, hearing Hawaiian music and sitting in the purple throne that is going to actually take you home. As you sit and wait, people are talking and it’s pidgin. A broken up English that is a foreign language to some that you actually understand, that’s home. Seeing people you don’t even know but just look familiar because you know where they are from, that’s home too.  I took this picture today and I have taken it many many times in the past. It’s like seeing your best friend again after a long trip away.

Even after a long sleepless night, nothing warms my heart more than going to the one place that is my home, Hawaii. On my 10+ hour journey there’s a lot of time for sleep, sitting, and thinking. After a few weeks of being extremely busy doing who knows what, getting on the plane and heading home seemed so easy. I could instantly connect back to where I am from by taking myself there, something that isn’t so easy while I am away.

What is important to me between the actual trips home is the constant connection to home. Whether that means waking up and listening to local jams, keeping all of my desktop wallpapers on my computers different photos of Hawaii, or never changing my wrist watch to be in the right east coast time zone, I make an effort to be connected to home. This conscious effort is intentional because while being so far away I never want to lose that part of me. At times, living in New York could turn me into a completely different person. I can see how I can easily forget my roots, plant new ones, and probably never go home. But that’s not what I want.

For now I am away and my daily habits, communicating with my friends and family, and this plane are my connection to home. They are my lifeline. They keep me in the loop while I’m away. Today made me realize how easy it is to go home but it also made me realize why I am away. I’m gone to feel  that feeling. The one that made me so happy to see this plane, hear the Hawaiian music and see people I don’t even know speaking a language i actually understood. Being away makes everything that is ordinary, extraordinary and that is the best “welcome home” I could have ever imagined.