This Easter weekend I walked 13.1 miles in one day (according to my Apple Health App). WOW. While many of my days are spent looking down or forward, just trying to get to where I am going, the weekends are times when I can stop and look around. I take the long way home, even if it means walking 40 blocks south, or meander through streets and ignore my map discovering new parts of the city I never knew.

I can also look up. Looking up to the buildings and sky to see a different perspective than the daily commute. A lot of New York looks down and I’m guilty of that too. We try not to make eye contact, especially to avoid those people who want you to sign petitions and just want “a little of your time to save ______.”  We just want to get where we’re going in the fastest way possible. This weekend, I found  new perspectives on things as I looked up on the city and not down to my feet. My phone helps me to remember these moments and also prove that I finished my first “half-marathon” this weekend. Here’s what I looked up to: 

Looking up to the Highline

Looking up to Rockefeller Center

Looking up to Saint Patrick’s Cathedral

Looking up 5th Avenue toward the Empire State Building from Washington Square Park

..the best excuse to stop working because everyone needs to eat. Copy catting a salad that I bought to take me through many long days in grad school by throwing together frozen grilled chicken strips, avocado, dried cranberries, goat cheese and tomatoes over spring mix with balsamic vinaigrette! Honey wheat pretzel sticks because why not and reading the New York Times because it’s good for your health to know what’s going on in the world.

Today’s Aloha Friday matsumoto studio pos, finds it way here too. A phrase that deserves a double share here because I really never want to forget it. I never realized I grew up surrounded by aloha. People in Hawaii are nice. People in New York are just sometimes not. Surrounded by strangers everyday, it’s like being in a different city all the time. You don’t often see familiar faces and you definitely don’t run into people you know very often. It’s easy to  not care. It’s easy to demand attention. It’s easy to look the other way. But that’s not aloha. Aloha is more than just flower leis and hula girls. Aloha is a way of living. You help out a friend, go the extra mile, or give up some time for yourself to practice aloha. Aloha is giving, loving and heartwarming. Aloha is how you carry yourself in the worst situations because that rubs off on others who might have it worse than you. New York City is not a place to be “Aunty Aloha” and talk and smile at strangers like how we do in Hawaii. In a world where I often still feel like a fish out of water and where the weather is a little colder than what I am used to, aloha is something that I can practice to keep me warm just like home–aloha over everything.

Juno shut down the subway and the city at 11PM as the city prepped for the worst and hopes for the best. The walk around the freshly coated city makes everything new again. There is something refreshing about seeing white everywhere. A city famous for its grit and grime, trash problems and rat neighbors, for a moment, the snow makes us forget what is underneath it all.  The snow has already brought a fresh perspective onto the lonely deserted mattress down my block making patterns I never saw before,  winds giving a chill I never felt before, and making me eat like I’ve never eaten before (I bought the food, so I should eat it). As limiting as a snowstorm sounds, there is a nice warm feeling about being stuck indoors. Your responsibilities are somewhat lifted and time stops for a little bit. The snowstorm is a pause button and it might have come at just the perfect time.

The Christmas rush is well underway. The last few days have been a whirlwind of events. The missing days from the blog are an indication of just how crazy things have been. Major life changes have occurred. I celebrated friends getting married and friends who are moving on. I made new friends and once again, reconnected with old ones. I’ve been in three states in three days. As I write this note, 10,000 feet in the air somewhere above the Pacific Ocean I am anxious and ready to go home for the holidays.

I know once I get there it will be a whole different rush. I am excited to see my family and friends. I have a very loveable and demanding Grandma waiting for me and lots of questions will be asked and answered. We have holiday cookies to bake and family dinners to make. I’ve been running on little sleep. I don’t expect that to change much once this plane touches down on Maui, but I do expect to enjoy every minute of it. I am always crushing on Maui, and I am in love with the idea that I will spend the last days of 2014 here:

One more week and I’ll be back here, on Maui.  Amazing that this place is what I call home. Maui made me. The more years I grow up, the more years I spend away from home, I  realize how Maui–the people, the community, the lifestyle–made me who I am.  Now I live in a place that could  not be more opposite than my hometown. The island of Maui has a population of 145,000 and New York City has one of 8.4 Million. Maui’s tallest building in sight is only eight floors high, while New York City’s is 104. With all these contrasts there is something that Maui has taught me that has been useful in New York–patience.

In a city where you share all your space with everyone, friend, neighbor, unwanted or wanted stranger, you also have to learn patience. When the lines to check out a the Trader Joe’s wraps around the store, or the subway platform is compacted with busy commuters trying to make it home, sometimes you have to learn to wait. When a subway car comes and it is packed with people, you let it go and the next will arrive a little more empty. In New York, many things come at an instant and many do not.  People bump you, but usually not on purpose. There simply is not enough space for everyone. Today I waited in a very annoyingly long Post Office line. Thankfully it moved pretty quickly, but the woman behind me thought otherwise. In this moment she could have practiced more patience. If I let all these little moments bother me, I would be fed up with New York. Instead, I have to think that it’s just how it is and I need to get used to that.

Maui is the rock (literally and figuratively) that keeps me grounded in this fast paced life. I think about home while being away from home and how each step of my journey on and off the rock, has made me who I am. Well, next week, I’ll be back on it. I really can’t wait to be there, so until then I’ll just have to practice my patience.

Success is often defined by the money in a bank account, letters after your name (like PHD, which I’ll most likely never be), or maybe even who you know (Taylor Swift). While I don’t believe that money will make you eternally happy (although, it definitely helps along the way) I believe success will. However a person defines what makes them successful is up to him or her, and is the measure to figure out when success has been achieved. For me, right now,  I think it comes down to two words–SUCK LESS.

I want to suck less at whatever it was I was doing before. I believe in working hard and gaining skill. If I try my best to learn, I will. Doing new things will put me in new positions and opportunities for different things. I will be sucking less than I the me that didn’t know those skills before.  No one wants to work with or hang out with someone who sucks. So if you are sucking less, this also should not  be a problem. I think I am already sucking less than the me of a few years ago. Maybe even the me of a month ago. Sucking less will eventually bring success. I don’t expect to be a billionaire (but as Bruno Mars said, I want to be one, so freaking bad) or friends with billionaires , but I do expect to feel success in the accomplishments I make. I do feel accomplished. I have set goals and met them, but now there are more goals to set. More things to suck less at and be better at doing. Good thing I don’t plan on being an octopus because their job is to basically, well, to suck.

The long hours, late nights, and risks are all steps towards success. Success doesn’t happen over night, or over a few months. Maybe it will take me years to find success. There are days when I feel like I am killing it at life, like when I walk to the subway and there train is approaching the station withins seconds, and right there, that’s success. Everything went the way I wanted it to or better. I can’t always  control what will happen every step of the way, but I can definitely try my best, to suck less.

Ping: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Work”

Ping: “But you don’t have other work, except for me! …and the other guys that you babysit.”

A lot of my 2014, and the last three years has been getting to know this kid that goes by Ping. His Mama, Paweena,  and I met in school and I’m glad we did. The two of them and their +1, Eric, have become family here in NYC. When Ping tells me that he is my work, he’s right. However, I don’t see him as  work.  Ping has brought a lot of fun to my daily routine. He is honest, open, and lovable. He wears his heart on his sleeve. When he’s upset, I know it, but when he’s happy, he is beaming. He sometimes pulls the jerk card, but mostly not. After all, he is a kid so that is allowed. Working with and around Ping has been a challenge. Always making it to school by 2:30PM so he doesn’t have to wait in “office jail” for his lame sitter,  but at the same time working up to the very last second to make the most of the morning. Then sometimes sitting like a buddha at the school playground, laptop out and designing underway while soccer balls come a little too close to hitting my computer screen. I’ve taken phone calls while paying for snacks at the corner deli and sent e-mails from the free wi-fi at his fight school gym.

All of this has mostly been a blessing. A blessing that I am able to do my work, while spending time with a kid that reminds me about the importance of stopping computer time to make time to play a card game or think about all the powers of “mythical creatures.” Ping reminds me that it’s okay to eat Nacho Cheese Doritos because they are actually pretty good and that it is okay to break the rules. Ping reminds me to never set limits because there are none in his imagination. He tells me stories that make no sense and sometimes I just say “yeah sure” even though I can’t follow. Ping’s creative nature and fun-loving spirit is something I hope he never loses. He’s growing up to be a little man (with the guidance from awesome Mama and Eric)  and I’m lucky to witness greatness in the making.

Now that we are three months in to 2014, the time has come to recommit to this personal blog. Last year, I made it a challenge to post something everyday, or two days, and I did well. This year, with an overloaded phone, a career path taking shape, and just life, it was a little harder for me to do that. Something that I want to change from here on out. My life has been busy with work (the stuff that pays the bills) and also keeping up with Matsumoto Studio. My sister and I are fortunate enough to have a lot going on right now, so if I am not here, find me on our other blog, the adventures of annie & flo! With spring in the air, and the Macy’s Flower Show in full bloom, so will be the start of something new here. A new chapter of the life of jenmatsumoto–even I can’t wait to see what happens next.

The post have been scarce, the work hasn’t been updated but I haven’t felt more right in the things I’ve been doing. Sure there could be more (FT job) but if there was that, would I be making coasters? After an overwhelming positive response from family, friends, and friends of friends, I started making time “once in a lifetime” coasters for gifts. Things don’t always come how you plan but you just go with it. I might think I’m lost on “coaster-nation” but maybe I’m actually going down the road that was meant to be. So far it feels good. While it makes me nervous to not know where this will go, I also feel excited about the uncertainty as it makes everything that much more exciting.

Perfection in imperfection from this slightly off-centered Magnolia Bakery pudding pie.

The ghosts and goblins are out to play, happy Halloween day!